Top 10 Zlatan Ibrahimovic Wisecracks



He is one of the sharpest strikers on the football pitch and off it he has the charm, charisma as well as the wit and humour to come up with wisecracks that can make you laugh or maybe just contemplate the enormity of the contempt he might have for someone. Here are 10 of the most famous wisecracks uttered by the Swedish maestro Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

10. The Reporter Gets a Lesson in Basic Mathematics.

Reporters are often treated with contempt by footballers as well as managers but Zlatan actually cut a Dutch reporter to shreds when he asked Zlatan an innocent question. At the time he used to play for Ajax and as the title race seemed to be a close one with Ajax leading by 9 points, the reporter asked whether it was possible for Ajax to drop 9 points in the remaining 9 games. Zlatan replied, “According to my calculations, it is possible to lose 9 points in 3 games”. The reply must have left the reporter red faced for the duration of the press conference.


9. He Doesn’t Believe in Trials.

In European football, players are bought and sold for millions of dollars, which is why it is only natural that when a 17 year old shows up at the club, the manager of the club would want to see what he can do before actually going through the deal. When Zlatan was being courted by Arsenal, their legendary manager Arsene Wenger wanted him to go through a trial but even at the age of 17, he was quick to reject it since he had too much faith in his abilities. Years later, he said, “Arsene Wenger wanted me to have a trial with Arsenal when I was 17. I turned it down. Zlatan doesn’t do auditions.”


8. He has the Money and He Knows It.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has changed clubs with alarming regularity and in total his employers clubs have shelled out a total of $227 million in transfer fees. That should also give you an idea of the sort of money that he is paid by the clubs for which he plays and over the course of his career he has earned huge amounts of money to be considered among the wealthiest athletes in the world. After he moved to his latest club Paris St. Germain, he stayed in a hotel for the first few months, however when a journalist asked him about his plans on moving to an apartment he famously replied, “We are looking for an apartment in Paris. If we don’t find anything, then I’ll probably buy the hotel”


7. Confidence is Zlatan’s other Name.

Well, sportsmen need to have confidence in their abilities but as far as Zlatan is concerned he trusts his abilities so strongly that he is able to come up with the goods both on the field and off it. Due to his personality he is any interviewer’s dream and so during one such interview Zlatan came up with a legendary reply to a common question. He was asked which sportsmen would be comparable to him and he replied, “I’m like Muhammad Ali. When he says he would knock someone out in the 9th round, he did it”. Much like Zlatan really, who scores goals for fun.


6. He is Football’s Version of Superman.

Normally people are referred to as a ‘Superman’ if they are adept at doing almost everything perfectly and in case of Zlatan it might just be true as far as his footballing skills are concerned. Although it is true that he is actually a striker, Zlatan thinks that he can do the job of defenders, midfielders and even the goalkeeper as well as without much of a problem. The sentiment did come out actually in one of his famous comments about the game, “I can play in the 11 positions because a good player can play anywhere on the pitch”.


5. He knows he is Top Notch.

Zlatan is known to make a huge impact at most clubs in which he plays as the leading goalscorer but at Barcelona he did not have a happy time since their manager Pep Guardiola shifted him from his central striker role to a wider position from where he was supposed to feed Lionel Messi. Needless to say it did not go down well with Zlatan, who later went on to have a series of altercations with the manager before leaving Barcelona. However as a parting shot he said this, “You bought a Ferrari but you drive it like a Fiat”


4. Do Not Cross the Line with Zlatan.

Nowadays, it is often noticed that journalists try to be cheeky with footballers and mangers during press conferences, however it is not something that Zlatan tolerated and one of the reporters found it out the hard way when he tried to pry. For some reason, Zlatan had a few scars on his face and the reporter asked him how he go them. Zlatan got the drift of the question and calmly replied, “Well…I don’t know…you’ll have to ask your wife about that”

3. His Wife Doesn’t Need Gifts.

At number 4 is a statement from the famous interview in which he let his hair down and fooled with the interviewer with one outrageous statement after another, however the statement that is the subject of this entry takes the cake. The interviewer asked him about the sort of gift that her wife likes and what gift was he planning on giving her. Once the question was completed, Zlatan gave this answer with an impish smile, “Nothing! She already has Zlatan.”


2. He Sees the World the Way It is.

At number 2 is Zlatan’s famous appraisal about a team meeting presided by Pep Guardiola, that he attended at Barcelona and considering the relation the two shared it was a given that was not going to be good, however what he said has now become a cornerstone of Zlatanisms. He is one of those individuals who is not a lot into philosophy and believes in practical thinking which is why he described the team meeting in this way, “Then Guardiola started his philosopher thing. I was barely listening. Why would I? It was advanced b*****it about blood, sweat and tears, that kind of stuff.”


1. An Indecent Proposal from Zlatan.

At number 1 is the wisecrack that literally shut up a female reporter who asked whether Zlatan was gay or not. The whole incident happened as Zlatan was driving away from practice and since the reporter had seen him hugging his former teammate Gerard Pique during a game, she thought she could ask such a question. However, Zlatan does not react well to such questions and so nonchalantly took on the reporter in full view of everyone with this comment, “Come over to my house with your sister, baby, and I’ll show you who’s gay!”





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